Thanks for everything, 2010. Which wasn't a whole lot but whevs.

 

Around this time last year, I (along with probably half of the internet) posted a link to this song. Because along with half of humanity, I had had a pretty rubbish 2010. A year later, 2011 is over (duh) and I find that, against all odds, I did indeed make it through this year. Congratulations to me and everyone else who did it. Yay! Now, was 2011 any better than 2010? If so, not by much. Here's a rough summary of what happened:

- I fucked up my knee. Again.
- I finally saw The Arcade Fire, Eels and The National (all three were great)
- I developed a Tabasco addiction.
- I saw 'Psycho' for the first time ever (it was very good).
- I lost all three remaining grandparents.
- I went to my first funeral (it was weird).
- I interned at NME (it was terrible, but that was entirely my fault).
- I went to Munich and interned at on3 Radio (it was awesome).
- I went to Vienna for the first time ever (it was slightly bizarre but fun).
- I got a fairly useless degree.
- I wrote not nearly as much or as well as I should have done.
- I sang, mimed and danced along to "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit.
- I moved back home (it's been OK - so far).
- I did not find/meet/acquire a girlfriend (I know, like you even care, right?).


So there you go. A slightly depressing list, now that I look at it, but what can you do. I hope your year was successful/eventful/interesting/inspiring or just not as much of a fucking trainwreck as 2010. It's the little things, right?

See you next year, suckas.


Photo credit: Demotivator

New Jay Electronica track - with added Jigga

Ever since the incomparable David Cano, via one of his rants about how I don't know anything about music, introduced me to Jay Electronica, it's fair to say I've become a bit of a fanboy. As with many rappers, following him on Twitter is often a bit hit and miss, but his music is seriously incredible - his style is literate, melliflous and punchy, and the sampling is impeccable. There hasn't been an album yet, but supposedly there's one coming out next year - I just hope it's better than the new song he leaked yesterday. It's called "Shiny Suit Theory" and has features a verse from Jay-Z. The beat is part classic 90s-jazz-sample, part half-baked show tune, and when J-Hova comes in with his bit I immediately kind of lost interest. Jay's on better form though, his lyrics as thoughtful and inspired as always ("I pack all my sins and I wear em to the show and let'em go, let'em go, let'em go"). It's not spectacular or anything, but it might well grow on me (especially Jay-Z's verse which has got some decent lines). Have a listen.

EDIT: According to his Jay's Twitter, this is a segment of a 7-minute long song that also features Charlotte Gainsbourg. Really bringing out the big guns, huh? 

Jay Electronica - Shiny Suit Theory feat. Jay Z & The Dream by GlobalGrind

Things not to do on Facebook - A code of conduct

 Disclaimer: Tongue was firmly in cheek while this was written. I did not want to rub anyone up the wrong way, but if you're genuinely offended by any of the following, I might have to rethink my relationship to you anyway. This is meant to be a light-hearted post with no insults intended. I'm fully aware I am guilty of violating most of these points.

So I saw The Social Network the other day. Finally. And while I enjoyed it (Andrew Garfield is really, really great as Eduardo Whatshisface) I got a little sad at how little time has passed since I didn't even know Facebook existed until today, where I'm on it to a worrying and life-impeding degree. In those four years (only four years! I've had skin conditions that lasted longer!) I have marvelled at the ease with which I can now stalk the girls I fall for on a daily basis, look at awesome football videos and look intelligent by posting links to Guardian articles. But I have also learned that there is a whole new toolbox for people to reduce me to a sobbing wreck at the lack of internet etiquette still prevalent in so many circles.

As a kind of social service, I have summed up some of them for you. Consider them a loose foundation for cringe-free Facebooking.

1. Do not like your own posts/status updates
Now this should be obvious, but sadly there are still some of you dudes out there likin' like there's no tomorrow. C'mon y'all. You can do better than that. I know the 'Like' button is tempting, but don't get sucked in - you'll end up liking EVERYTHING. And nobody likes an overenthusiastic suck-up. There's a reason this group exists, you know.  

2. Do not use posts made by friends you haven't spoken to in ages as an excuse to "catch up"
While looking at new photos of friends from your primary school years is one of the main perks of Facebook, it is not its sole purpose. Posting "Hey Soandso, how are u these days. Remember that time u pissed on someone's bike in the bike shed? Good times lol" as a comment to a normal, completely unrelated status update is NOT the proper way to reminisce. Private message, yo (<--- that goes pretty much all the time anyway).


3. Do not clog up people's Friday afternoon feeds with weekend-related posts
Yes, we know it's the weekend. By the time we've read your "I'm outta here for some post-work white wine spritzers, whoop whoop", we've already had at least two boring conversations about people's weekends and could care less about what you're doing unless it directly involves us. Have a good one though!

4. Please, please, PLEASE do not use that bloody heart ("<3") symbol
The heart symbol has the opposite effect to the one it's meant to convey. It does not make me feel love. It makes me feel hatred. Everytime I see one or more of those bastards, my face gets all itchy, like I've just licked a Croissant (got a pretty bad egg allergy). What's wrong with writing "this is awesome" next to the link/photo/video you're posting? Are your feelings for the content you're sharing so strong that you feel you have to resort to this seemingly idiotproof shorthand? I doubt it. It's not cute and it's not clever. Instead, it makes my newsfeed look like a 10-year-old girl's pencil case. I am not a 10-year-old girl, and neither are any of my Facebook friends.

5. Do not post a link to your blog
Oh wait. 






Photo credits: Lamebook, Friedman Archives